May
Long story short very good friend has stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her bones , liver, and brain. Here is my problem she is disgustingly optimistic. I am upset and want to be upset but fell like I can't because she is acting like she’s going to beat this even with a poor prognosis. I was optimistic when she first got diagnosed but the prognosis was much better it has spread and they are, by their words, just maintaining it not making it go away. Chances are that is won't go away and it is even superior that she won't be around to much longer. She is taking trips and sort of doing the bucket list thing. I just want to be upset I want to cry with her and just be mad and angry and sad at it but I feel like I can't because she’s not. What do I do
Answer:
You join a support group or go to a counselor or find another friend to cry to. And then you allow your friend to continue acting/behaving the way she is. This is about her illness, and her death, not your emotions about her death. Go out and have fun with her, since that seems to be how she wants to spend the rest of her life. If you were dieing, wouldnt you rather spend more time being happy rather than sobbing over something that you’ve no way of changing?
In all likelihood, she probably is sad and upset and angry too. Or, maybe she has just decided that she is ready to die and it isnt worth it to spend the rest of her time upset. Perhaps during a private time you could mention that you’re upset, or ask her to speak about how she feels. Its possible that maybe she just hasnt been ready to break down and cry and by angry yet.
Answer:
smoke some weed.
Contrary to popular belief, marijuana has many active chemicals in it that can improve immune function in cancer patients.
http://www.phoenixtears.ca/
This sight is very inspirational story about a cancer survivor, the cure being Hemp Oil extracted from the marijuana plant.
Although it's looked down upon by society, this one plant works wonders.
Answer:
help her enjoy her last weeks on earth
i assume she is no idiot, she has probably just accepted her fate and wants to make the most out of her time left
the last thing she wants to do is waste her last few weeks crying and being miserable
so stop thinking about yourself, and be the friend that you claim to be and go enjoy some time with her
Answer:
You’ve to be strong and think about HER. Being sad and upset and crying with her is about you…not her. Let her live the time she has left HER WAY and support her in it fully! You will have to grieve on your own when she is gone. Don't cause her undo upset in the only time she has left to like.
We’re all going to die. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for even you. It is up to each of us to cherish each moment. Maybe right now she’s teaching YOU how to live and cherish what your life is about! Thank her! Rejoice in each moment from now on.
Answer:
Your friend is trying to care about the good times she has left. If she feels good right now, let her take advantage of each second of that since it will come to an end in the future. As the cancer gets worse, your friend if going to get much sicker. That might be the time when the tears begin to flow and you can cry together. Until then, let her enjoy every minute she feels good and don't dampen her spirit with speak of death right now. That time will only come too soon. Be a good friend and help her make the best of these good days.
I lost my best friend last year. We had been best friends since first grade. She told me she was going to die and we cried and talked. After that, we never mentioned it when she felt good. She was one of these optimistic people like your friend, but she knew she was going to die and there was no hope of getting better. Even when she got bad and near death, she was optimistic. We talked about how wonderful it was going to be for her in heaven with her promising to be my angel there on the other side to help me any way she has the ability to in my life. She wouldn't let me be upset, and I tried my ideal not to be upset for her sake.
Answer:
“disgustingly optimistic”???? It's more like you’re being disgustingly selfish. My prognosis was 4 months….2 years ago. If she has the mind set that she has the ability to beat it, I state GO GIRL!!! If you have the mind set that she can't beat it, I say GO AWAY GIRL!!!
Okay, I'm off the soapbox now. My wife, daughters and myself accepted the fact that I'm not going to live forever, wasn't really planning on it anyway. So what we do is LIVE LIFE. Cancer is the hand that God saw fit to deal me so it is the hand that I will play and live life on MY terms.